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Serendipity

by Sandra Purdy

2018 Flash Fiction Competition Runner-up

Flash Fiction Devious, Reflective

There’s too many Nuns in that boat. They’ll be in if they’re not careful. They pretend to be Irish you know, with their soft, sing-song voices, looking like dirty great big pints of Guinness.
It’s all a big con to make you like them, so you give them stuff for free.

Bastards they are, with rosary beads and rock-hard pointy-toed Rosa Klebb shoes, that really, really, hurt when they kick you.

Look! One of the buggers has fallen in, and another. Ha. Serves them right.

What do you mean cormorants? They’re Nuns. Hundreds of them.

They force feed you with slimy green liver and onions and when you’re sick as a pig they tell you you’re the ungrateful brat of a harlot because there’s babies dying in Biafra and it’s all your fault because you didn’t go to mass on Sunday.

A sandwich? No ta, I’ll just wait for my ‘99’.

When your mam has no money for the Bishops Fund you get sent at playtime to hand-brush the pulpit steps and when your knees are red raw and you ask for a hoover your bare legs get smacked to the slapping beat of You. Will. Waken. Jesus. Up. In. The. Tabernacle. and they spit on their hands first to make their smack marks better than their friends’ because they show off.

Listen, they’re screeching now. Falling in like lemmings. Is that little Sister Jude trying to help? Hey Jude, don’t make me sad; leave them floundering. They treated you as bad as us, worse maybe. Didn’t give you the lickings of a dog did they?

Toilet? No, I’ll hold it until we get back. It’s been my best birthday ever. A lifetime of nightmares swept out to sea.

It is my birthday today, isn’t it?

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About Sandra Purdy

Sandra is short, dark, bespectacled and is relatively new to the addictive world of flash fiction. Prior to her success at The Casket of Fictional Delights she was Highly Commended in the Borderlines Book Festival 2015 for her first ever flash fiction attempt. She is, in her words ‘well chuffed!’

You’ve reached the end of this story. Please do explore further. And if you’re feeling generous today, donate to The Casket and help keep the fictional delights flowing. Want to know when more stories arrive? Make sure you sign up for regular updates.

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The Casket is a platform for new, fresh and enjoyable short reads. We don’t receive any grants and your generosity helps us provide FREE accessible ad-free content. Any donation is hugely appreciated. If you would like to contribute, donate by PayPal by submitting your name and an amount.

Sending

3 responses to “Serendipity”

  • Diane Blagburn says:
    October 5, 2018 at 11:18 am

    Having lost my best friend who was a Roman Catholic Nun in 2015 and having other friends who are also nuns I found this Story deeply offensive.

    Nuns and Priests do so much good work in the world and I feel they deserve a little more respect than this.

    I am sorry but I had to say this.

    Reply
    • Joanna Sterling says:
      October 17, 2018 at 9:41 am

      Thank you for your comment. Not everyone has been as lucky as you with their experiences of nuns and the Roman Catholic Church

      Reply
      • Sandra Purdy says:
        October 18, 2018 at 7:48 am

        Hello Dianne,
        Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my story. I never meant to either upset or offend any individual, and I am truly sorry for your loss. However, any piece of fiction may be inspired by anecdotal/personally experienced facts or imagination. This little story is a combination of all three, and at the end of the day, it is simply that – a story.
        Regards Sandra

        Reply

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Everyone at The Casket is hoping 2021 will be a better year than 2020.  We have some great short stories and flash fiction lined up for your delight.  We kick of the year with a story by Lydia Unsworth “The Smallest Boxes” and then for Valentine's we have a story by Dylan Brethour which will also be available as a podcast. Later in the summer we have a new Flash Fiction Summer Collection which will be published online and as podcasts read by Menna Bonsels and Richard Hodder.  We hope you enjoy the stories we have for you and look forward to welcoming you back regularly.

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