I bought a window box, painted it sage green like the style mags said.  Planted multi-coloured pansies and red geraniums.  You didn’t notice.  I added a windmill.  It whirled and twirled in the breeze.  Irritated the hell out of the neighbours.  I swapped it for a gnome.  Not ‘on trend’.  You still didn’t take any bloody notice.  I went all out to impress.  Connected up a fountain, ran it night and day.  Did you notice?  Did you hell.

For the next term, I abandoned plants altogether.  Laid stones and gravel.  Spent hours with a miniature rake, bought off the internet.  I made patterns, curls, semi-circles, perfect parallel lines.  A seagull crapped right in the middle of a circle.  Not even a glance.  I was running out of ideas.  Stuck the gnome back.  He had lost his fishing rod and his ‘made in China’ bottom didn’t even cover the seagull crap.  I took a photo, used it for my Uni project, so not a complete waste.  Some stupid bastard stole the gnome.  I thought of trying cactuses but needles scare me.   A dandelion took root in the window box, you could see the cheap plastic through the peeling paint.

Today I bought a Bonsai Maple, a tender indoor plant the label says.  It needs  constant attention.