Saturday, 23rd June, no footie to watch. Homework all done, except geography, but can knock that off on Sunday night.

Binoculars & camera, check.

Notebook & pencil, check.

Sun glasses & base-ball cap, check.

Corn beef and gherkin sandwich, cheesy quavers, hard-boiled egg (unpeeled), packet wine gums, apple (no bananas, Mum forgot to buy any this week), Mars bar, check.

Money for bus fare and ice cream, check.

iPod & backpack, check.

Catch number 59B bus, decide against number 57 bus, though a more direct route don’t want to draw attention to self. As an additional confusion tactic get off bus two stops early. Saunter along cliff top path trying to look like minding own business. Spot Miss Hipsmith jogging towards me. She looks a real hottie in her pink tracksuit and low cut tee-shirt. Her tits are bobbing up and down with each stride. God – what if she asks if I have done my geography homework. Need to take evasive action, head down and pull cap further forward. Don’t think she recognised me. Reach end of path with no other incidents. First set of steps down – easy (council thoughtfully provided handrail). Take a rest at viewing point, wonder how they got the bench down here, must have weighed a ton, great old fashioned thing made of wrought iron all rusty and peeling yellow paint. Eat some wine gums and make an entry in notebook.

Last set of steps has no hand rail, treacherous descent. Dive bombed by several Common Gulls and a Tern. Finally reach gate at bottom of steps.

Notice on gate ‘Due to Public Petition the Naturist Beach has been suspended’.